To spice up my blog a bit, I will be making a temporary segment about the 10 things that make me happy, sad, confuse and a lot more so people will get to know me more in a different way, not like slam books kind of way. I will start to the easiest which is 10 things that make me happy and I think I’ve done this before. I remember putting my family, friends and Jieno on the list but then again, this list has to be different and new than the last one. Do not expect this list to be deep, it’s more sentimental, essential and important to me.

  1. Music makes me happy because it says what I feel and what I want to say to other people. There are different songs and genres, all of those has its own meanings. Music interprets everyone’s emotion and making it an art without people knowing.
  2. Watching Horror and Spoof Movies makes me happy. Whenever I’m very lonely, watching horror and spoof movies can easily make me forget the things I am worrying about. These movies makes my brain work. For example, the movie SAW! I find whoever wrote the movie very intelligent. Every franchise made me use my brain even though the movie was bloody and inappropriate for children. 
  3.  Beautiful Photographs makes me happy. Whenever I go to tumblr I always go to my tracked tags consisting of different kinds of photos with different meanings and purposes but all in all it shows that life has a meaning. It’s beautiful.
  4. Painting makes me happy because I know I don’t have to be Vincent van Gogh or Frida Kahlo to be the best. All I need to do is find my own trademark, show who really Julia is and express it all through painting - aaand I suck at drawing.. 
  5. Blogging makes me happy because tumblr has been something I was attached to since high school. I left for a year but hello, I’m back and blogging truly is an escape and at the same time an extent of reality.
  6. Fashion makes me happy. Playing dress up and barbie make overs was my thing when I was just a child. At first I wanted to be a doctor but I realise my passion will help not only me but the people around me. Doing what I really love is living the life I wanted since childhood. My passion in fashion has been motivating me not to give up in my dreams.
  7. Internet makes me happy because it is an escape from total boredom. 
  8. Friendly person makes me happy. It makes me smile when there are people I totally click with in a matter of hours. The thing is, I like the thought of unexpected friendships with the people I thought I’ll never be friends with. It just shows how life works in mysterious ways.
  9. Late night calls from Jieno makes me happy because hearing his voice after a tiring day can make all the stress gone. I say things that I’ve only said to him and we never get to see each other a lot, and phone calls from him are really meaningful for me.
  10. Living in a house with a strong roof makes me Happy. It is a constant reminder to me that I’m blessed to be part of a good family and I shouldn’t waste my life accepting all the temptations life can offer to me.
She was willing to lend anyone her crazy heart. It could bend with the wind. It could accept being snubbed for days. It could even stare at an unanswered text for days. There wasn’t a human being who had to worry, because it could no longer break. Well, not anymore. It did a while back - during a dull night that was covered with gray clouds that made the sky look like an abandoned freeway. After those uncomfortable hours - and months of despair - she draped her naked heart with the strongest fibers found on Earth. Now, she would let you see it, maybe hear what it had to say, but don’t even think about touching it. Her heart was protected like a diamond, because next time it shattered, nobody would have the ability to glue it back together.

It is 2 in the morning and I am still awake because my brain won’t let me sleep. Maybe writing my thoughts at this hour will help me and I am going to queue this because posting thoughts right after writing it, has always been my mistake. Queueing this, will help me decide if these thoughts are worth sharing and I was even thinking to put a photo with it but I’m too serious, I don’t want to put any unrelated or too significant photo with this. Anyway, here it is

1. Respect is less meaningful when you tend to lie constantly to other people and to yourself. It is very disappointing that the people I thought different and other teenagers like me should look up to are the same as the people they don’t want to be. Maybe they don’t know, but it shows because I can see it everyday since I opened my eyes. It is disappointing to see that they put too much attention to those they think are below their standards of being true/good human being, they never realised that they are also starting to be like the person they don’t want to be. They became what they hate the most.

2. Of course, sometimes, I am kind of shallow too. Often, I judge people the way they act. I hate people who are very obvious and show off; I hate how they specifically tweet about how they buy stuff that most people cannot; I don’t like people who talk or tweet like this “I-just-bought-lacoste-sebago-air jordan-thanks-parents-for-spoiling-me”, “bought-a-watch-for-10k" and "I-broke-my-Iphone 5-nevermind-I’ll-ask-for-my-parents-to-by-me-another-one" every time. Seriously? it makes me sick and I am very sorry if ever I will offend someone but I know, I am not the only one who is feeling what I feel to these kind of people. (I hope this doesn’t make me a bad person, sigh)

3. Another stuff I don’t like the most when the people I know very well are being untrue this Holy Week. I hate it when most of them are starting to tweet or fb status verses from the bible but I know very well their sinful ways of living everyday - I know I’m not holy and probably I can never explain this well but I don’t like it when people are doing something because it is a trend or something we have to do because we think we need to. If you really love God, it shows everyday, not just because it is Holy week.

4. I love you, and if ever I will accept this big sacrifice that will help the both of us, on the near future, then I will accept it. It’s not easy, and never will but then again, I was used to it. I waited for years and maybe I can wait for another 4 or 5 years. I know we can make it through the odds; We’ve been through a lot of hardship, and waiting is not even part of it. - I think missing you was and always be the hardest.

Overthinking, is a different story. It makes me paranoid, it can make me cry for hours until I will ask myself, why am I even crying? It is hard to trust when you disappoint me and overthinking makes me think I am never going to be enough for you when you are going to be surrounded with new, exciting, and interesting people. I am scared that your values will change and I need to cope up to it to be with you. I am afraid that you will be overthinking too.  

Okay, I think these are enough and Happy Easter Sunday everyone. Jesus is alive again. :-)

  1. Summer break and spending it with the best people.
  2. All nighters with my high school friends 
  3. Being comfortable with the people I never knew I’ll be friends with.
  4. Horror movies marathon 
  5. Experienced a lot of things that will help me in the future and getting good grades from it.
  6. Sleeping for hours without anything to worry about.
  7. Learning something new everyday 
  8. Food trips with the people I love the most
  9. Been swimming a lot lately
  10. Reading the book Jieno bought for me last february
  11. Polaroid Films

And lastly, fast internet! I know 60% of my vacation will be spent here at home and I cannot see myself surviving summer without any communications with my friends. I know I just made a Happy list recently, but I want to share how happy I am today and probably the next coming weeks. Also, I’ve been getting a lot of asks recently so I decided to make a FAQ page and I’ve been getting a lot of questions about my theme - I apologise for not answering back for now because I suck at explaining how I tweak htmls. Anyway, I’m sending good vibes to everyone! 

Truth Thursday: I have learned

I have learned that saying “No” when you know you cant, or you don’t want to do something is okay. People must know my stand to different things as well as I am to them. Sometimes “No” doesn’t mean turning other people down, it’s always more than that.

I have learned that leaving unimportant/insignificant things behind is a must. These things has no worth and will only clutter my house, my room and my mind. I have been struggling to leave all the anger, insecurities and the unwanted memories I was holding for a very long time but everyday I am trying and I can see my progress. These things are never meant to stay anyways. 

I have learned that college changed me. My college friends changed me. The environment changed me. The news changed me. The Reality changed me. I, myself, changed me. I will go through changes as long as I grow and live.

I have learned that even though I am not so religious person, I never forget Him. I still communicate and believe things about Him. To be honest, my relationship with my boyfriend helped a lot in so many ways. And even though we’ve never been together in a church for a very long time, my boyfriend and I still do little things to communicate like praying. - still better than nothing.

I have learned how to wait even though it will take a year or more, if it will benefit and help everyone around me. I am willing to wait.

I have learned that my mind changes like a light switch and it’s not good.. Never will.

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